Hey, Elon.

Bro. My guy. Dude. You ok? We’re all a little worried.

Things started out... well, not great. But better than this, right? You were going to save humanity!

Electric cars, flamethrowers, tiny tunnels, tiny train tubes, dog coins. All 100% certified, genius-caliber, great ideas. Now it’s almost like you‘ve turned into an entitled, spoiled brat.

But it’s not too late! We think we have the answer:

Go to Mars.

What?! We know right? It’s your idea! Own it. You could be on a mission this year if everyone would just be hardcore about it.

On behalf everyone, it’s yours!

We only have one condition: get there first. You. Personally. And then, for the love of civilization, stay there.

If not you, then who?

Earth will never be the perfect planet (just one with a breathable atmosphere). We're flawed. We're inefficient. We're human.

Why waste your abilities trying to fix what's broken? Imagine the possibilities that your absurdly overconfident vision and a blank, barren canvas could yield. Think of the alpha!

Frankly we can't think of a better investment than jettisoning you into the cold, dark void of space. To secure humanity's future amongst the stars of course.